i will never coherently bang her
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
