i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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