After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
