Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize