You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
