hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
