Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
