I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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