Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
