why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
