FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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