He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
