so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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