My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
no, he came in my armpit
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
