I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
