im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
