You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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