Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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