I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
