Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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