hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
