The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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