I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize