the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
