My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
dude. I can hear the air.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
