a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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