addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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