apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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