apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
