but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
