what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
