She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i now understand why vodka
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
