I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
