i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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