If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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