my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
