Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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