She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
