So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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