Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
