I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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