Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
