i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
