so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
