Her vagina should come with caution tape.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
