He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have aggressive nipples.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
