hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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