I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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