I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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