I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
