Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
