dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
