kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
