You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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