after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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