thus making me awesome and them whores
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
