I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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