all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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