Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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