I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
